Hating You Almost Sort Of Sucks Sometimes
by TheBestTsu-Chan
Summary: It's like emails can magically change the way Strong Bad thinks, even if they're poorly written! Yes, boy love is eminent. Resistance is futile.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Home*Star Runner. If i did... marzipan would probably be killed off... **_

_**Also, if you're gonna bitch about this, go ahead, I love you kinda parsons, really.  
**_

It was another beautiful morning in Free Country, USA. Strong bad took note of how it never rained. That would be good for one of his emails! He laughed as his cleverness and hopped onto his stool.

"Oh my god, Becky, check out this email, it's so... great."

'_Dear Guy i wish i was,_

_Dude, isn't it, like, soo sad how poor homestar is dating marzipan even though she tottes doesn't eve nlove hime? Seriosly!_

_With loads of crap,_

_Mary-Sue, Crystal Fortress'_

"Oh wow. I'm eating my words."

He grunted and began typing.

"Dear Macky-Sue,

Please to be considering that I have more important things to worry about then Dump-Star. Now kindly take a hammer, go to your English teacher, and hammer him/her with said hammer.

Don't email me ever again, Seriosly,

Strong Bad."

_DELETED!_

Strong bad grunted again. That was so awful he didn't want to answer another email ever again. He sarcasticly chuckled. Like that was a choice.

"Meh. I'll just skip this week. If there are as many Mary-Sue's in this world as I think, then no one will notice."

He whistled a random Limozeen song and walked into the TeeBee room to catch a rerun of the one time marathon special season finally of Dart Mouth. Ol' Darty was finally going to beat the villian, get the girl, and inevitably cover her mouth in sweet, loving, darty pain. Strong Bad almost squealed with anticipation, but didn't, because he was a macho man. He sat onto the couch with a bag of Thai Peanut Buffalo Garlic Cheddar Onion Sour Cream, and switched the TeeBee on, witch, of course, was already on the exact channel he wanted to watch. He loved how things tended to go his way these days. Strong Mad and The Cheat were off setting matresses on fire, Strong Sad was at his weekly scheduled Breath-A-Thon by the stick, and Strong Bad was here, all alone with the TeeBee and the whole house to himself.

It really couldn't be any more per--

"Heyyo, Stwong Baed!" chirped Homestar, popping up from behind the couch. He began to explain why he was here but was interrupted by a bag of Thai Peanut Buffalo Garlic Cheddar Onion Sour Cream. And then a fist. And a remote.

"Owwww! Geez Stwong Bad, if I didn't know better I'd think you weren't happy to see me! Good thing I do!" He then continued to happily tell his story.

Strong Bad attempted to tune him out, but couldn't help hearing a few tid bits. Something about Marzipan's garden, a fire, an argument and 'No where's to be!'. But he kept watching the show, become increasingly annoyed with Homestar's presence.

"But I didn't die that time either! So long story short, i needsa place to crash, Bad-Man. So I'll just put my stuff on your bed and occupado the basement!" Homestar said, then quickly tried to rush off before Strong Bad could realize what he had just said.

Before he could make it more than a foot away from the couch Strong Bad grabbed him by his... um... craw.

"Ooohoho no you don't! You know very well the likes of you have never been welcome in Casa y Strong! Now get'cha rear end outta my site!" he finished, and let go of Homestar so that he may re-glue his eyes to the screen.

"Thanks, Stwo-Bwo, I knew you'd undewstand!"

Strong Bad growled in frustration, wanting to show his current nuisance what for. But this episode was only going to be showed once today, and if Strong Bad had to wait another day to see it all, there was no doubt his head would engsmsplode! He decided he would just get him once the episode was over.

Not that he got to enjoy it anyway. Homestar had happilly taken place next to Strong Bad on the couch, placing his feet on Strong Bad's lap and taking his Thai Peanut Buffalo Garlic Cheddar Onion Sour Cream. He crunched and talked through out the whole hour about golf, bi-monocles, plastic cups, and his plan to fix the country's current economic problem with nothing but a paperclip and a piece of Juicy Fruit.

As you can imagine, once the credits had come up, Strong Bad would've shot Homestar, had he a gun. Homestar was now licking the chip crumbs off his fingers (or lack thereof) and rambling on about how dogs are better than chinchillas if you're trying to win a race.

"Though i guess a chinchilla might me better at throwin' them little towtle shell things..?"

Strong Bad screamed, hands raised in the air, and stomped of into the basement. Homestar sat for a minute, looking confused, but quickly got up and followed Strong Bad to the door.

"Awe you okay, Stwong Bad? You seem kinda upset."

Strong Bad growled. Normally he could handle Homestar but... this was _HIS _day to himself... he'd had to save up for TWO WEEKS to buy that bag of chips that HOMESTAR ATE. It took hours of persuading and bribing to get The Cheat to take Strong Mad out of the house for a few hours, and even more hours of convincing to make Strong Sad think Strong Bad wasn't going to attack him during his glorified nap. He had worked so hard to prepare for this day, and Homestar had ruined all of it. This was probably the most effort Strong Bad had ever put into something, and he was not happy.

"AM I FREAKING MAD!? AM. I. FREAKING. _**MAD?**_ You know what? No! I'm not mad, Homestar."

"Oh goo-"

"I'M FREAKING **FURIOUS**! And ya wanna know _why_? Well, first of, you break into my house, TWO, you eat my freaking chips, THREE, you do it all on MY special where I was supposed to be ALONE by MYSELF so i could get some FREAKING QUIET TIME! AND you wanna move into my house AGAIN just 'cause your stupid freakin girlfriend realized what a selfish stupid little prick you are! You know she only dates you because she thinks you're MENTALLY RETARTED AND SHE FEELS SORRY FOR YOU, RIGHT? It's true! Ask her! That's how everyone feels about you! No one really likes you, it's all just pitty!" Strong Bad was really getting worked up. "And--"

Homestar ran out of the room and The House of Strong before Strong Bad could finish his rant. Strong Bad scoffed.

"Good Ridance."

**Wow! You guys, that was horrible! :D Reviews are loved, if there are any big mistakes, or ooc moments, please, PLEASE tell me. I'll give you a cookie.**


	2. Chappy Too, See?

This one goes out to a certain special Invader i know. Stay fresh, baby styles.

**Im soooo sorry this is sooooo late! I actually had the most part of this finished and i was going to post it and i got GROUNDED. DUN DUD DUUUNNN. SO SORRY! To make up for it i extended it and made it extra long. :)**

**also, snuck in some sassy homestar for mu, so if she ever reads this, thanks for the drawings! can you catch the reference the creepiest flippin' toon ever? Also, this was brought to you by the coca-cola and yamaha corporations, and by viewers like you. Thank you.**

**Homestar Runner and it's characters don't belong to me. They belong to them sexy ol' chapmens. Preeoooww.**

Chapter 2.

_Somebody to Wove._

Once Homestar had left, Strong Bad sat back on the couch. He felt a surge of exhaustion from the rage he had felt and fell asleep for a few hours. When he woke up he lay there for a few minutes, keeping his eyes closed. He could tell his family hadn't gotten back yet and decided to stay on the couch.

Then he heard an alarm go off. It was Strong Bad's alarm, telling him it was time for Stink's Reach. Stink's Reach didn't come on untill 11 pm. He had kicked Homestar out at 5. It had been 6 hours and something was very wrong about all of this.

Strong bad got up and searched the house, each room coming up empty. Strong bad became worried about them (well not strong sad...) and decided to look through town. Bubs probably knew where they were. He walked to the stand to find that Bubs, too, was missing. This was freaky, like Strong Bad was trapped in some sort of end of the world movie. He went to Marzipan's. She wasn't there either. Place after abandoned place, no one to be found. Strong Bad was seriously freaking out at that point. He stopped to think for a moment.

"Where do people usually turn up when they're missing...?" he asked himself.

Forests... closed down buildings... the twilight zone... rivers, back up, dead. Strong bad got the jibblies.

Wait. _The forest._

Strong Bad ran to the forest with the speed of a... fat little unfortunately proportioned little man. When he reached the edge of the forest he could hear everyone together talking amongst themselves and moving around.

"GUYS!" He yelled, "What the crap are you doing in the forest!"

He walked farther in, finding everyone,looking at him like he was crazy.

"You don't know?" Marzipan asked.

"Uhmmm... Appearantly not." Strong Bad answered somewhat sarcasticaly.

"Hamstray's been runnin' around doin' all sort's of we don't even know!" Coach Z said.

"Like... Like what..?" Strong Bad asked cautiously.

They told him all about the past 6 hours. Homestar had gone to Bubs stand, bought an engagement ring. He went to Marzipan to propose.

"He got down on one knee and everything... but he didn't even say anything. He ran away." Marzipan explained.

Then he did multiple random acts of kindness, such as giving his wallet to The Cheat, giving everyone flowers he had picked and even hugging Strong Sad. He had done it all with a big goofy smile on his face. The last thing he did was go to Coach Z and tell him he was going to leave for a while, asking him to take care of Marzipan for him. He had refused to tell Coach Z where he was going. After that he had dissapeared. Everyone was looking for him, the forest being the last place they hadn't looked.

"Do you know anything about all of this, Strong Bad?" Marzipan asked worriedly.

Strong Bad felt a small pang of guilt. "I... Uhm... No, no clue. I'll help look, though." Strong Bad muttered. He had to be nearby somewhere, it's not like he knew his way around out of town.

They all went in groups, each going north, south, east, or west, except strong bad, who snuck off on his own. He was already helping locate someone he hated, why do it with other people he couldn't stand?

He went in a direction somewhere between north and west. He walked and searched, calling Homestar's name. This went on for about 45 minutes to no avail. Strong Bad was getting tired and decided to stop. He sat on a rock next to a river.

A river.

Strong Bad quickly jumped up without thinking, running along the river, looking for any signs of Homestar. Suddenly he stopped in his tracks. In the middle of the stream, floating atop the water, was a red and blue buzzer hat. For a moment, strong bad watched it drift by, unable to think. Snapping back to reality, he got into the river, chasing after the hat. He didn't know why he was doing this but he felt like he had to, that maybe if he got his hat, he would find Homestar. It wasn't hard to get to the hat, but the current was strong, and Strong Bad struggled to wade through the water. The rocks were slippery, but he was only a few feet away from the edge. A few more steps and- Strong Bad tripped, landing face down, the river pushing him away from land. He was panicing and unable to get a proper footing. The farther down the river he went, the deeper it got, to a point where Strong Bad could no loger reach the bottom.

'This is what i get for skipping all of my swimming lessons' He thought.

After a few moments of struggling, a rapid pushed him under the water and knocked any left over breath out of his lungs. He began to drowned, sinking, slowly fading.

'This is it. I deserve this. I'm a jerk' he thought. 'I'm sorry Marzipan, I'm sorry Coach Z, I'm sorry Bubs, I'm sorry The Cheat, I'm sorry Strong Mad, I'm sorry Strong Sad, I'm sorry kot, I'm sorry PS' He listed off names in his head 'I'm sorry Homes-'

Suddenly, he felt himself going up... Like he was being picked up... but he couldn't feel anyone touching him. When he was an the air he gratefuly gulped in all the air he could. And for once little second he saw a face. A blurry, white face. Then it went black.

Strong Bad felt something jab him in the side. He felt cold, wet, confused, and exhausted. He slowly opened his eyes, seeing a beautiful night sky.

He noticed a little bit of white moving around in the corner of his eye. He slowly sat up and looked around. He was in the forest... Oh, right. Homestar. He looked to his far right, and pacing around was none other than a very worried looking Homestar Runner.

"Homestar!" Strong Bad wheezed.

Homestar looked up and over to Strong Bad. A look of relief instantly flooded his face.

"Stwong Bad! You'we alive! Thank goodnes! I thought I was gonna have to do that heimlich-r or whatevew!" Homestar cried.

He ran over, lifting Strong Bad into an air hug without so much as a struggle. It was just like the feeling Strong Bad had when...

"YOU SAVED ME!" Strong Bad yelled.

"I suwe did, Stwo Bwo! You we'we in the wivew! What in wowld wewe you doin' in thewe anyways!" Homestar said, setting Strong Bad back down.

Strong Bad looked down at his hands. Of course even while drownding, he wouldn't let go of the stupid hat.

"I was gettin' this" Strong Bad mumbled in an embarassed fashion.

"My hat!" Homestar chirped, grabbing at and putting back in it's rightful place. "Oh, thanks Stwong Bad! I was looking evewywhere for this thing!" He danced around, laughing giddily.

Strong Bad just stood there quietly for a moment, feeling glad both of them were alive. Then he remembered why they were in the forest in the first place.

"Homestar?"

Homestar froze in place, "Huh?"

"You wanna tell me why you're here?"

Homestar looked down at his feet, remaining silent.

"Homestar? Tell me now, or Im throwing that dang thing back in the river" Strong Bad threatened, pointing at the hat.

"I was just... y'know, walkin wound is all. I just had to think..." He mumbled quietly, barely audible.

"You're lying." Strong Bad acuused bluntly.

"Vewy funny Stwong Bad. I think too, y'know."

"That's not what i meant, doofus."

"Oh."

There was a long awkward silence as they both looked at eachother.

"I was lookin' for a good high up spot" Homestar finally confessed.

Strong Bad eyed him questioningly "...Why?"

"I don't think i weally need to explain that Stwong Bad. If im smawt enough to know, so awe you."

Strong Bad was silent for a moment.

"Oh... OH!" Strong Bad realized, his eyes widening in disbelief. "Homestar...? WHY? Everyone in town loves you! You're a terrific athelete, you have the only girl in town! What would ever make you...? I just can't believe this..." Strong bad said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Suwe, im a tewwific athelete, but that's just compwensation for my... watawdation... or whatevew... No one likes me weally, you said so yourself" Homestar smiled at him sadly.

"I was just mad, you idiot! I didn't mean all those things!" Strong Bad yelled at him.

"Just cause you didn't mean it doesn't mean you wewe wrong... Strong Bad, I was going to pwopose to Mawzipan. I saw the look on her face. She doesn't love me. Ewewyone thinks im stupid. I've got nothing left." Homestar explained.

Strong Bad was seriously freaked out. Homestar was so... _SERIOUS_. It was like he was a whole other person...

"I'm sad. That's why..." Homestar said.

"I-... What?" Strong Bad asked.

"You said I was acting diffewent. It's cause im sad, Stwong Bad." Homestar said.

"Homestar... I **THOUGHT** that..." Strong Bad corrected.

"Nuh-uh. Don't tweat me like im stupid, Stwong Bad, i heard you clear as day." Homestar growled, obviously becoming mad.

'This is INSANE!' Strong Bd thought.

"What's insane?" Homestar asked.

Strong Bad was silent for a moment, staring at Homestar with slitted eyes.

'... 2+2=_'

"Two-dy-two" Homestar stated.

'Dude! You're reading my thoughts!' Strong Bad yelled in his mind.

"No way! You'we cwazy." Homestar laughed.

"Im serious, Homestar! I think maybe since you're less distracted, you can read minds or something!" Strong Bad said.

"Weally? Spiffy!" Homestar chirped.

"Try to read my mind again!" Strong Bad commanded.

"Yes siw!" Homestar replied, squinting and making a determined face.

'Okay... uhm.. uh... Hi.' Strong Bad thought.

Homestar was silent.

"Well, think alweady!" Homestar urged.

"I did! I guess you can't do it when your mind's preoccupied..." Strong Bad assumed. "Whatcha thinkin' about, dork-star?"

"Well... Idunno, i guess whatevew i'm gonna do after this.." Homestar answered.

"You're not gonna... 'Y'know'... anymore?" Strong Bad asked timidly.

"No way! I saw evewyone seachin fow me. I know they just wowwy about me cause im dumb, but when I saw you had gone with and even wisked youw life to get my hat, i felt pwetty inpowtant. 'Specially cause i was suwe you hated my guts..." Homestar said, smiling very sincerely.

"I see. But you would come back home, get back into the good times, of course!" Strong Bad said in a matter-of-fact-ly way.

"Stwong Bad, I don't want to go back to the way it was. I'm not the same dumb kid I was befowe. I've leawned... and stuff..." homestar disagreed.

"But you're coming home, aren't you!" Strong bad asked anxiously.

"Well suwe, but i can't just do the same ol', same ol'. Thewe's definatly no way i can go back to Mawzipan aftew all this. She doesn't even love me, so what's the point." Homestar drifted into a glum way.

"Homestar, you don't really have a choice. We can't just disrupt the natural order! You're the dumb, lovable, atheletetic hero who always win and gets the girl, and i'm the dumb jerk who always loses! That's how it goes!" Strong Bad couldn't believe he just said that.

"If I changed it, you could win fow once. We could even be fwiends again! Don't you want that, Stwong Bad? Wouldn't it be a nice change of pace?" Homestar asked pleadingly.

"Yeah, but... it just doesn't seem right. Come on, we gotta get you home and to your girlfriend. Everyone's worried si-"

"No."

"What?"

"I'm not going back to that life, and if going back home at all means i have to, then i'll stay hewe. It's pwetty." Homestar ressisted.

"Homestar don't be stupid and come o-"

"IM NOT STUPID!" Homestar yelled, kicking Strong Bad in the rear end.

"Ow! What the crap!" Strong Bad yelled, grabbing homestar by the shirt, attempting to drag him.

Homestar continued to refuse and pryed Strong Bad off by pushing on his head with the sole's of his shoes.

"Listen, cwap fow bwains, I ain't nevew goin! Why don'ta blow it out youw eaw!" Homestar jokcingly mimiked Strong Bad.

"That's not funny!" Strong Bad whined.

"Hewe Stwong Bad, i wanted to wetuwn your 80's wefewences, and here's youw stupid catch phwase!" Homestar laughed.

"Yeah, i get it, im not funny. There, can we go now?" Strong Bad snarled.

"Hmm... Nope!" Homestar decided, a smug look on his face.

"WHYIOULDA!" Strong Bad tackled him.

The two commened to rough-house. At first, Strong Bad was frustrated but after a minute he just decided to have fun, laughing along with homestar. Homestar got to his feet and started to run off.

"Oh no you don't!" Strong Bad chased after him.

They ran around playing and having a good time for another hour until they were both too tired to go on, collapsing on the grass next to eachother, still laughing and gasping for breath. It only took a few minutes for them both to fall asleep.

They were awoken by a familiar laughing. Strong Bad opened one eye a bit. In front of him was Homestar's face... very close... He had his arms wrapped around Homestar's neck, and according to the strange weight on his torso, homestar was returning the favor. They were _SPOONING_. Strong Bad screamed and jumped up. Homestar sat up, probably rubbing his eyes.

"Huh? Oh. Hey guys." Homestar yawned.

Marzipan ran over to him and (probably) hugged him "Oh, Homestar! You're okay!" She cried.

Homestar uncomfortably pushed her off "Mawzipan, I think we should see othew people..."

Everyone looked at him like he was doing the watusy in a yellow tutu.

"W..What!" Marzipan yelled in disbelief.

"I know, i know. I'm sowwy, but it's obviously it's just not wowking out." Homestar stated in a very mature way.

Marzipan stood silently for a moment. She then quickly turned on heel to glare at Strong Bad, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HOMESTAR!" She yelled angrily.

Homestar turned her back around with his new strengh "He didn't do anything. And i know that most people would say 'It's me, not you', but that's not the case. We'we over, leawn to accept it." Homestar said bluntly, then walked past everyone. "are you guys coming ow not?"

Everyone quietly mumbled to eachother and followed behind him.

On thing was for sure, Homestar had changed, but was it for better, or for worse?


End file.
